Thursday, January 31, 2019

I Cantarctica

But hey, it's sunny.
It's a little cold where I live.

Just a bit.

Most of the Midwest is in the grips of another polar vortex. These are weather events caused by aberrations in the jet stream which are caused by melting polar ice, which is caused by too much carbon in our atmosphere, which is caused by years of fossil fuel burning, etc, etc.

And I don't care what your stance is on global warming, I do know that this pretty much sucks whatever is causing it. (From my perspective, I agree it's caused by what they say it is, but that's my editorial perspective.)

Yesterday and today temps hovered around -25 Fahrenheit with a feel-like of -45.

As you may know, my house is 97 years old. It breathes like a bag of onions in the winter. While this transfer of interior air to the outside might be good for air quality, it makes it just a tad drafty in here. My workplace closed the past two days due to the temps, so I have been on modified house arrest. Yesterday I managed to start the car and run it for 5 minutes, but otherwise did not leave the house for fear of death.

Today is much the same.

So the dog is in a deep depression and has mastered doing his duty in 14 seconds on three legs. He looks at me when he's doing it with a look of "What the hell is going on out here?" I know, buddy. It sucks for me too, although I'm not peeing in a snowbank.

It also makes for some interesting dress around the house. At the moment, mine involves long underwear, a Stormy Kromer hat, lots of fleece and a scarf.
Don't judge.

Yes, a scarf.

Indoors.

It is not pretty.

The chair I sit in is near the stairs and the draft coming from upstairs blows right down my back. The scarf helps. Any sense of fashion has taken a back seat to what I call "gettin' through this".

When I start the car, it whines and makes noises I've never heard before. When I took it out this morning, it felt like the wheels were square. I'm certain they flattened on the edge that was on the pavement.

They were like Lego wheels.

We were also told to change our thermostat to Hold at 68 degrees. So our furnace has been running almost constantly for 3 days. Thankfully it is only three years old. At the immediate moment, I love my Carrier.

Yesterday, Wisconsin was colder than Antarctica. And not even a penguin to show for it.

We have rolled-up towels at the base of both the front and back doors to slow down the influx of frigid air. The cats are camped out in front of the heat vent, Toby the Dog is in a deep canine depression and Donna and I are living each moment waiting for the next furnace cycle to blow warm air again.

It was so cold that when I made a video of throwing boiling water to the air, some of it splashed on my hand and literally did not hurt. No damage done.

It ain't right, people.

And from an entertainment standpoint, there is only so much Netflix and Facebooking a person can do. I miss the outdoors. I miss walking. And I sure as heck miss shorts and my bike. That day might never come again.

The last time we had a Polar Vortex was in 2014 and I managed to get frostbite on my fingertips to the point where they get cold/numb fairly quickly now. So I've been here before and know to stay put.

And so I look ahead to the future. Saturday is supposed to be 40. FORTY! Four Zero. ABOVE! Sunday is 43, Monday is Forty eight. I might go kayaking! Paint the garage! Rake the lawn!

Until then though, I'll be here in my scarf.

Blogging off...

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I hear you on everything you shared...except no dog, but the cat is on the vent constantly! Hope Ben is doing ok. I worry about the guys since it is probably colder there than here (with the lake breezes) and that they have to walk everywhere! Hope you are on your bike soon.