So it goes...

Well, my son turns 20 today, which I think officially makes me old. I tell people that there are days where I barely feel twenty, but they are usually followed by days where I feel 65. So, I guess that's a trade off. Myrtle Beach, 2001 Having just met my nephew's first son, Roy James a day after his birth, I was reminded of my own son's birth. A hot, hot day in August of  '98 we went to the hospital early in the morning. His birth was fairly routine - no complications to speak of with one small exception. When he was delivered, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. As a result, he was whisked away to neo-natal ICU immediately after I cut the cord. This made for some very anxious moments. I remember talking to my mom on the phone right before it happened and when they said they were taking him to ICU, I sort of freaked out. It was a precautionary measure for sure, but one that made me very uneasy. The thought of losing a child was frightening and unsett...

As I mentioned in the previous post, I spent last week in Southern California - specifically, San Diego - at a conference for work. Every year 15,000+ people come from all over the globe to talk software, maps, apps and other GIS geeky kinds of things. I also mentioned that this year would be different because I was going out a couple days early and bringing my son Ben along for part of it. I wasn't sure how things would go, particularly on the days I was at the conference and Ben was left to fend for himself in a strange city, 2000+ miles from home. Let me just say that all my fears were unfounded. Let me also say, that if any of you ever get the chance to travel one-on-one with any of your kids, DO IT! Now, to be honest, my wife and I have basically raised our kids in the back seat of a moving vehicle. With parents and family in two states, Minnesota and New York, it seems every six months we were packing up to go one direction or the other.  But with no off...

As you probably well know, my son graduates from high school this weekend. He is certainly ready to move on with his life, has been for about 6 months now. He keeps asking why he can't just go to college and skip these last few weeks of senior year. So, today marked the last morning we had to wake him up for school. And I say we, because it is a corporate affair. Donna starts the process about 7:10, and hammers him every five minutes or so. I interject and shake the bed when I pass his room during my morning routine. For all the sadness that goes with having your kids grow up and eventually move away, this wake-up routine is not part of the experience I'll miss, nor will my wife. Not that he won't be around, but there are some moments from his school years that I will always treasure - moments between father and son, as well as family moments. Here's a few: During our years in Elmbrook's Boy's Club, we took a trip up to Waupaca every summer for a trip do...

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm having a hard time here. It's this whole kids growing up thing and the looming inevitability of an empty house in less than six months. I'm not a fan. I know this sounds crazy from someone who should look forward to those quiet nights without having to worry where he or she is, or waiting to hear the car come into the driveway. After all we work hard to raise good, responsible, equipped children, so when they start showing signs that they're ready to leave, we should rejoice and push them gently out of the nest. Well, I'm not ready, just yet. Last night was yet another reminder that our time together under one roof is short. We attended Ben's Scholar/Athlete Banquet at Waukesha South High School to see him accept his award along with 260 other students. This award is given to any student who participated in at least one sport and maintained at least a 3.5 GPA for their first semester. Now I'm the proudest father aroun...

Today we celebrate the biggest day in professional football, the Super Bowl. Many will gather with friends or family to watch the two most deserving teams square off in a quest for the Lombardi Trophy. There will be food, drink and lots of really, really costly commercials - some of which will make us laugh, others that will make us go Hmmm...and maybe one or two that will shock us. And while it is a nice diversion from all that is going on in our country, it pales in comparison to what we experienced as a family yesterday. Those of you on Facebook know that my son Ben swam his final meet as a senior at Waukesha South High School yesterday. It was the Junior Varsity Conference meet which is a playoff amongst all the teams in the Classic 8 conference. Going into the meet, his goal was to simply "break 30," or in layman's terms, to better his time in the 50 Freestyle and come in at less than 30 seconds. Ben joined the swim team last year as a junior and to his credit ...

Photo credit: Roost Photography Very soon, my son Ben and I will be touring the University of Wisconsin - Madison. I am not sure when we moved out of the diaper stage into the college visitation stage, but I am pretty sure it happened overnight. And I'm even more sure that a year from now when he's away from home I will be just as befuddled by the quickly passing time as I am today As part of the whole senior preparation, we had his senior pictures taken by our friend, Brandon, of Roost Photography . Let's just say looking at these pictures of my grown son did not help matters. It was kind of like a kick in the gut. Here he is, all grown up. The pictures, as you can see, are pretty amazing and totally capture his spirit. But his spirit is 18 - a real, live adult - and I can dislike that just a bit. Credit: Roost Photography I miss his little buzz-cut face and sort of resent that he now shares shaving cream with me. Not because I don't like to share, but ...

Last night my youngest went to his first formal dance, prom for Waukesha South High School. If you've been through this scenario, like me, you probably wondered where the time went? Wasn't this little guy just wandering through the living room leaving a wake of destruction behind him? Wasn't he the kid who just yesterday was busy pulling up grass in the outfield and putting it on his head to be goofy during T-Ball? Wasn't he just "graduating" from kindergarten and begging for sleepovers every weekend? Yep, it seems just like yesterday. In any case when we asked him how he liked it, he said it was a blast. There's something about being around your friends with loud music, dancing and lots of laughs that is hard to beat. He went with a "friend" and so it was a little different than boyfriend/girlfriend. There are many variations on the whole prom experience than when I was a kid, including going "stag" with friends and or even att...

As I mentioned in a recent post, my seventeen year old son decided to join the swim team this year. I was a bit surprised because he has never really swam in a competitive mode before. We always had him in various swim lessons as a kid, but that was long ago and was far from structured. It was still more than I ever had as a kid however. We were taught by the old school three step method: 1. Get in your suit 2. Get in the water 3. Flail until you figure it out. This is not a knock on my mother in any way. I'm sure trying to raise six kids was hard enough without making certain that each one had mad swimming skills. I remember her sending my step-father down to the water's edge once to help teach me some strokes. I was pretty hopeless though and likely the worst swimmer in the family. To the point where my sister Pat has dreamed on a number of occasions that I have died by drowning. Well, I've made it this far. That's not to say I haven't been pulled out o...

I went to the Admirals semi-pro hockey game on Friday night with my son Ben and his friend. My wife managed to notice the advertisement for at the bottom of her grocery receipt there was mention of three free tickets to a game. Thinking there would be a catch, I was fully prepared to have to buy one or more out of pocket when I got there. Turns out they were all free. Throw in a lucky free parking spot on the street and you have a great, affordable night out with the boys. Now, I haven't been to an Admirals game in at least twenty years. I don't know why, I just haven't. I've been meaning to get Ben to a game for three years, so this was our chance. Ben had been to a game about two weeks prior. A friend got him into a luxury box seat for free through the friend's father. I told Ben he'd been spoiled, and that any other seat would be a disappointment after that. When I asked him how the game was, he said it was awesome. He said he really enjoyed it, ...

I took Ben out for his first golf outing this afternoon at Moor Downs Golf Course in Waukesha. The course is a short, fairly wide open course that I thought would be a good way to introduce him to the sport. We had a good time together, despite the high temps and uncomfortable dew point. I could tell he was getting tired near the end, as was I. I haven't golfed in a couple years, and it showed. I shot in the neighborhood of a 55 (par for the course was 34.) Now, I am the world's most honest golfer, and my score is indicative of that. I don't  see the point in lying about my score because what will that get me? I know my abilities. I also know that over the years I've played I haven't improved significantly, either. Is lying going to make me feel better about my game? No. If I got a 7, I score a 7. More often than not, I forget how many shots I'm at anyway. In those cases, I usually just score 2 over. I have a hard time taking the game seriously. I enjoy i...

I was back to normal for an evening but now there's another piece of me that has gone MIA There's traces of him here and there wrappers, magazines, a rogue Nerf dart I wonder if he has any idea of how much I miss him or love him? Today I felt like an amputee missing an arm after just having my leg reattached on Saturday He's likely been gunned down in a paintball firestorm and has a tale to tell of the shot he took in the neck I miss him breaking into song while camped out on the laptop or riling the dog right before bedtime In two days he'll return from Jesus camp and the peace I have will be replaced by the piece I'm missing.