Ten At Fifty

A few observations about life after 50.

1. I can't hear you. I seem to be going deaf. At the same time I will never admit I'm old enough for a hearing aid. The concerts of the 80's are catching up to me.

2. I'll wear what I want. I used to not be keen on wearing anything with a saying or logo on it for fear of what people would think. At 50, I suddenly don't care anymore. My two favorite T-shirts at the moment are my black tee with the Superman logo on it and the other is one that reads "Shut up and fish."  Hopefully these are not predecessors to the "I'm with stupid --->" T-shirt or the sweatshirt with the sunset and howling wolf on them. If you see me in these, try and understand.

3. Stretching is not optional. My morning routine involves 25 minutes of yoga/stretching immediately after waking. If I don't do this, I can still function, but I just feel better if I've done it.

4. I talk to my dog. Around the house, around the block and in the car. Although most of it is correctional or when giving directives, I've caught myself talking to him on a walk when people have seen me from across the street. OMG, I've become that guy. Don't judge.

5. I wear Yak Trax on my shoes in the winter. Um, yeah.

6. People have called my music mellow. I have to flatly deny that it is so. We were painting my sister-in-law's shed a while back and had my iPod in the dock. She and my wife eventually switched it off because it was not upbeat enough. I still like a lot of what I used to, but I will admit, I have taken to songs much more for the lyrical qualities than the beat lately. Hmmmm...

7. I'm blind. Well, not exactly. But I can't read with my glasses on, and if my contacts are in and I'm trying to work on something up close, I'm likely to rip them out of my eyes. This disability leads directly to number 8 below where...

8. I can't find my glasses. Now this is something that only old people do. If my family would quit moving mine around, I wouldn't have this problem.

9. My knees pop. Both of them, go off like gunfire every time I stand up. Is this normal?

10. I sometimes ask my kids to help with my phone.  It's not often, but sometimes, it's just easier. Not because I'm old, but rather because the phones are over engineered. (Sounds good to me.)

So that's what life almost one year into my fifties looks like. It's not bad, in fact it's like going to a movie or reading a good book. You just keep wondering what's going to happen next.


kris np said…
This made me smile.

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