In no particular order, here they are:
- Due to the laws of physics, when freeing your lure from a hanging branch, jerking it turns it into a sharp, pointy missile guided in the direction of its jerk, in this case your boat, or sometimes you. (Of course, I've personally never done this.)
- Other peoples' million dollar mansions can be a good point of reference when negotiating a new lake.
- Large urban geese can render a floating raft or diving vessel untouchable. Ick.
- Why is it when we catch a fish, we remember the spot and then dwell on the spot for ten minutes after that thinking if there's one, there must be two, or two hundred? There usually isn't. They all swam way because of the ruckus the one you caught made during its fight.
- Fish always bite when you least expect it. This is because you only expect it during the first three casts, when they never bite anyways. After three casts you fall into the "inattentive zone" for the rest of the day and are jolted out of it only when you get a strike. At least I am. Though I try not to look it.
- You are also jolted out of the inattentive zone when conducting the exercise outlined in point #1 above.
- If you catch five fish on the shoreline you are on, DO NOT covet the shoreline "across the way" where all the boats seem to be clustered, especially if no one seems to be catching anything.
- After spending hours looking at a weedy lake bottom through polarized sunglasses, everything begins to look like a possible fish. Most are not, especially that really big one I saw yesterday. It's probably a weed. Move on.
- Holding a large fish and taking what amounts to a selfie with a slightly slimy hand is not as easy as it sounds.
- When a guy in a vehicle sees you hossing your 60 lb kayak up the launch and asks you if you need a hand, do not take it as an insult. It might just be that your grey goatee adds ten years to your face. Either that, or the oxygen sucking sounds you are making are a cry for help. Just say, "Nah, I got this," and act like mean it. Fake it if you must.
- If Lure #1 has caught three fish, and Lure #2 has caught zero fish, stop going back to Lure #2 to "change things up" when Lure #1 seems to be having a dry spell. Lure #1 is what they want today, as fish number four and five are proof to.
- It's quite possible that Jet Skis are Satan's way of torturing anything with ears. Seriously, man, it's like taking a leaf blower out for a spin.
- When fishing alone or with friends, you WILL experience an ear worm. There will be a song that replays itself 137 times throughout the course of your day. Hopefully it's a good one.
- If you have a million dollar mansion on the lake, you must also have an obscenely large pontoon, and a speedboat that cost as much as the guy in the kayak's house. You must. Oh, and a jet ski.
- With a kayak, you envy every boat that is bigger than yours, until it is time to launch or take out. Then you are the envy of all of them.
So, there you have it. Fishing wisdom gained during a beautiful Saturday on Oconomowoc Lake. And when I get that million dollar mansion, you're all invited on my pontoon.