Back to the grind after a great weekend with my brother Rob and his family in MN. I found work to be particularly difficult today. Extremely tough to get motivated when you've been exposed to such a sad situation. It weighs heavy on my mind, like a cold damp blanket. He and his family are constantly in my thoughts, to the point of distraction. If I was one prone to it, I'd likely crash into a depression. Believe me, this is as close as I want to come to one.
Trying to find a positive in the whole situation though, we did have a very good time when we were with him and his family. The adults had some great laughs with Rob on a number of different occasions. There's one thing for sure he still has in abundance, his sense of humor. He and Jane can laugh in the face of adversity which is testament to their love for each other.
The prognosis is not out yet on whether or not he got his hemoglobin up to the level necessary to qualify for the clinical trials, but he wasn't 100% sure he wanted to try anything more. Given the difference between how he looked this weekend versus how he looked during Chemo's 1 and 2, and frankly I'd take less days with the healthy Rob too.
The whole journey has brought Ecclesiastes 3 to my mind on a daily basis. Ecclesiastes is not the most uplifting book in the Bible, in fact it's quite the opposite. There's a place for it though in keeping your life real. Our time is short, and that book reminds us to use it wisely and not chase after the wind and the riches of this world. Wise words.
Tomorrow I will get up, get dressed, plod forward to work, try my best, and then come home to be the best Mosaic Middle School Ministry leader I can. I think that's all I can do at this point, and hope that the pain stops. It likely won't, but life goes on. So it goes...