It is that time of year where I am overcome with a great sense of unease. I'm not sure if it's because of the impending winter, the decreasing light or just some hormonal thing. I can't explain it really. Just restless, I guess. On Sunday's it's the worst. I wander around wondering which task is most important and whether it's what I really want to do. The house and yard beckon, and I tend to some of those as I feel led. I also feel the need to get some last bike rides in before the snow flies, a feeling that only a true cyclist feels.
Lately I feel the pull to write and that just adds to the unrest. If I don't get my time in at the keyboard, that doesn't feel right either.
What I need to remember is that I'm doing fine. I've got a great wife and kids, a good job working with good people, great friends and most importantly, I have my faith. A God who loves me and cares about what I do and how I feel. I mean really, what's to be anxious about? I think when it comes right down to it it really is a fear of the dark, long winter. To remedy it, the only solution is to move to a warmer climate, and I don't see that happening for a few years.
I remember talking to my father in law a few years back. He said that the thing he most hated during his teaching years was Sunday nights. It was the same thing I feel. I love the blessedness and the slow pace of Sundays, but dread the work week that comes with a Monday morning. He said that that kind of goes away with retirement, but retirement isn't happening any time soon either.
So how do I channel my unease? I stuff it, mostly. Is that healthy? No, probably not. I sometimes think that if I keep moving, putzing, cleaning, working out, that will fix it, and it never does. Believe it or not, writing this blog right now is actually helping; almost therapeutic. Sometimes if I talk things through, using my muse or some sort of outlet, it seems to help me work through things. It's a bit like I'm on the couch right now, and you're playing Dr. Phil, so thanks for that.
On a different subject. I wonder how the Landwehr Hunt went this past weekend? Rob was going up for the whole weekend, Paul on Saturday, and Tom for a few hours somewhere in between. I do miss the camaraderie of the hunt, but I really wanted to go musky fishing again this year, so something had to give. I can't say I won't say the same thing next year. I just LOVE to fish. Love it!
As with all weekends, this one went too fast. I spent much of yesterday at the skate park with Ben and two friends. They had a BLAST and to their credit, they were outside the whole time and getting a workout while they were at it.
And so, to quell my own anxiety, I think I need to go for a quick ride. (Call it adult ADD).
Blogging off...have a great week.