Thursday, October 27, 2011

Time is of the Essence

Had a tough day today with regards to Rob not being with us anymore. It sneaks up on me and overwhelms me when I least expect it. I don't really know how it comes up, but when it does, its not a pretty thing. It does cause me to think pretty deeply about what life is all about, where I'm going and what is important. It may be the only positive thing to come out of the whole momentary deal.

It always dredges up great memories that we shared together, which is a good thing. The down-side to it though is that it sparks me to thinking that we'll never be able to make any new ones. What's done is done. That also is one of the last things he said to me when I was telling him how we'd never have the chance to make new ones as we both reminisced about the past. He said "You can't go back," which is true. I'm not sure that's what I want to do, but my tendency is to color the past better than it was, and in turn, mourn the loss of the good old days. (That were no better than the now new days.)

It's a little like the Ecclesiastes 3 verses that the song Turn Turn Turn was derived from.


  • There is a time to ride bikes to the Mississippi River and throw rocks, and a time to watch the river flow by with your kids.


  • There is a time to share a bedroom with a brother and a time to share one with your wife.


  • There is a time for staying up all night with your brother partying and a time for early to bed because your exhausted from being a new father.


  • There is a time for eating dinner with 6 kids around the table and a time for eating alone on a business trip.


  • There is a time for playing tackle football with your brothers and a time for watching your son play tackle football.
  • There is a time for dating and a time for weddings.
  • There is a time for college and a time for work
  • A time for apartment and a time for a house
  • A time for a new friend and a time for old friends
  • A time for the Beatles and a time for Green Day
  • A time for transistor radios and a time for iPods
Because all things in life are what you make of them. It can be drudgery or joy. The choice is yours. How do you want to live out your days. Your time is short. It may not seem that way. Tomorrow might seem like as far out as you can see. But when you have something as traumatic as losing a sibling at a young age, you see life out a whole lot further and suddenly, every day seems significant. Every week is a big week. 

So my advice to you is to go out and make your life bigger. Bigger than TV. Bigger than the next toy or electronic. Bigger than your car, your house, your school, or your posessions. Bigger.

Blogging off...

3 comments:

Phatty Patty said...

Love you, Jim. Wish I could help to ease your pain, somehow, but I'm feeling pretty much the same as you. I'm mentally giving you a big hug - hope it helps even a teeny bit. You are the best, my dear, dear brother!
Sister Pat

Phatty Patty said...

Love you, Jim. Wish I could help to ease your pain, somehow, but I'm feeling pretty much the same as you. I'm mentally giving you a big hug - hope it helps even a teeny bit. You are the best, my dear, dear brother!
Sister Pat

skaufenberg said...

Jim you do such an incredible job putting your emotion into words - which are almost the exact words I have been trying to find. Like you said, having such a difficult loss can really open your eyes to what life all means - and the importance of living it bigger - just don't lose sight of those simple, little things - they mean more than I think a lot of people realize and sometimes can be a surprising comfort in a time of sadness or anger or even happiness. What I have learned is to really appreciate the moments I have